Abusive Relationships

Lately, the story/saga of Chris Brown and Rihana abounded the People press: a glamorous couple, a fight whereby Chris hit Rihana, a police report, a picture of injured Rihana leaked to the press, a highly publicized break-up, and an even more publicized reconciliation. This story has fueled a lot gossip but also a wave of awareness campaigns on abusive relationships: What are the warning signs of abusive relationships, how to help the victim, etc. Abuse is not only physical; it also can be emotional or verbal. It is apparently known that abuse typically starts during teenage years. Emotional abuse is malicious and teens who become involved in abusive relationships may be entering a cycle of violence that can continue into adulthood. What teens learn about respect and how to treat/be treated by others will affect the choices they make in future relationships.

I know that the human psyche is quite complicated; that such situations are hard to analyze, but I can’t help but wonder what keeps a person - that apparently has it all - going back to an abusive partner? Some would say that the victim has “no personality”, “is weak”. But beyond any judgmental opinion, what can drive a woman to return to an abusive relationship?

Closed Zone

The animator of the Israeli movie "Waltz with Bashir", made a short movie, "Closed Zone", about the life in besieged Gaza. Powerful.
While I approve of the work of those Israeli anti-war militants, I cant help but wonder why, we, Arabs dont produce such equally effective communication channels.

The West Bank Archipelago

While reading a blog of le monde.fr, I came accross the below map. It is a map published by the Atlas 2009 of Le Monde Diplomatique, that depicts the reality of life in the West Bank: cities and villages, seperated by the "Wall", by Israeli colonies, by army check-points. A West Bank that looks more like an archipelago of isolated islands rather than a land where people can decently live.

Childhood Memories from the 80s*

* Courtesy of G

Salwa Katrib - Khidni Ma3ak

خدني معك على درب بعيدي
مطرح ما كنا ولاد صغار
وغفي ربيعي بشمس جديدي
نسيني يوم ال صرنا كبار

خدني معك يا حبيبي يا حبيبي
مطرح ما لون الازرق غاب
نمشي سوا يا حبيبي يا حبيبي
على ارض الرمل الي فيها عتاب
بعز الهوا خبيني خبيني
وتركني ضيع بقلبو نهار
ئول للهوا يا هوا ينسيني ينسيني اليوم ال صرنا كبار

خدني معك....

قول للهوا يودينا يودينا
فوق جبال ال مالها حدود
بكرة الزمن رح يمحي اسامينا

On men, women and body image

A boy and a girl (or a boy and boy, or a girl and girl for that matter) like each other, they get together. And then you hear about the great effect they had on each other: “oh, have you seen how positive she is now?”, “yi, she gave him a sense of stability”.

I often hear about a girl that stopped smoking or a guy that resumed studying, thanks to the aura of their significant others.

How does that happen really? Does he tell her: “I want you to stop smoking”, does she tell him “I want you to start studying”… and they execute swiftly?

All this “nurturing each other”, and “getting the best out of each other” concept is praised by all....until he asks her to lose weight. In the same line as “I want you to stop smoking because it’s bad for your health”, he asks her to lose weight because “you would look much better without those 5 kilos” and “you’d feel much better about yourself if you toned your thighs”. And then he starts monitoring her food intake. Staring weirdly at her when she gets desert, getting upset if she doesn’t go to the gym. She obviously reacts. It’s her body, her health. “oh well”, he replies, “ your body also concerns me”. And then he throws in the killer argument “watching you eat is like watching my sick father smoke”. Hmm, hmm.

Even if a man is not satisfied with his woman’s body, how legitimate or acceptable is it to let her know about it? Isn’t it common knowledge that women dread remarks about their weight? And if he doesn’t speak up his mind, wouldn’t he be hiding things from her? In couples, can we share everything? When it comes to relationship management, where do boundaries stand?

Homage to Salwa Katrib

This is an homage to Salwa Katrib, Lebanese singer and TV icon, who passed away yesterday. The video is an excerpt from her play "Ben el Jabal", a remake of "My Fair Lady".